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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25959754">i'll be your family</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiesdiaz/pseuds/eddiesdiaz'>eddiesdiaz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Christmas Fluff, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Pining Evan "Buck" Buckley, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:47:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25959754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiesdiaz/pseuds/eddiesdiaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Buck?” Chris says, pulling him from his thoughts. He lets out a big yawn, wriggling around under the covers until he’s comfortable.</p>
<p>Buck couldn’t wipe the adoring smile off his face if he tried. “Yeah, buddy?”</p>
<p>“I know what I want you to get me for Christmas.”</p>
<p>“You do, huh? What is it?” Buck asks.</p>
<p>“I want you to be my dad,” Chris says easily, like it’s nothing. Like he didn’t just tilt Buck’s entire world on its axis. “Well, my <i>other</i> dad.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>692</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll be your family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/florenceandthemachine/gifts">florenceandthemachine</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Read on <a href="https://eddiesdiaz.tumblr.com/post/621400990765252608">Tumblr</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>You two have an adorable son</em>.</p>
<p>It’s been a year since Buck heard those words — the first of many occasions where strangers have made assumptions about him and Eddie and Christopher — but he remembers it like it was yesterday. Because it was the first time Buck realized that he <em>wanted</em>.</p>
<p>It’s stuck in his mind today, because they had taken Chris to see Santa earlier to keep up the tradition, and it happened again. Eddie had walked away for a second to meet Chris after he was finished, giving him a high five and ruffling his hair fondly, and a mom waiting for her own kid leaned in toward Buck with a kind smile and said “Your family is beautiful.”</p>
<p>Buck wonders if people ever say this stuff to Eddie, and if they do, how he responds.</p>
<p>Personally, he can never find it in him to correct anyone, because he wishes more than anything that it was true. When he’s presented with an opportunity to pretend, even for a second, he jumps at it — basks in the warm imaginary bubble of him and his Diaz boys together, family, forever.</p>
<p>The pining has gotten even more brutal with time, Buck thinks. Because last Christmas, the idea was completely unattainable; Eddie had been sleeping with Shannon and Christopher had just gotten his mom back and the last thing Buck wanted to do was jeopardize that. The three of them deserved to be happy together.</p>
<p>Now, though, Shannon is gone and he and Eddie are closer than ever. Now there’s nothing standing in the way of Buck getting what he wants, no glaring signs from the universe telling him he can’t have this. Which means if it goes wrong, it’ll just be because he’s not good enough, because Eddie and Chris don’t want him, and that’s infinitely more painful.</p>
<p>Buck’s still thinking about it when he tucks Christopher in for bed that night, after Eddie passed out on the couch halfway through their movie.</p>
<p>“Buck?” Chris says, pulling him from his thoughts. He lets out a big yawn, wriggling around under the covers until he’s comfortable.</p>
<p>Buck couldn’t wipe the adoring smile off his face if he tried. “Yeah, buddy?”</p>
<p>“I know what I want you to get me for Christmas.”</p>
<p>“You do, huh? What is it?” Buck asks.</p>
<p>“I want you to be my dad,” Chris says easily, like it’s nothing. Like he didn’t just tilt Buck’s entire world on its axis. “Well, my <em>other</em> dad.”</p>
<p>Buck can’t breathe.</p>
<p>“Chris…” he says, quiet and shaky, trailing off when he realizes he has no idea how to respond.</p>
<p>“Don’t say no,” Chris cuts in, sounding shy and hopeful. “Just — just think about it, okay?”</p>
<p>Buck doesn’t need to think about it. The answer is yes, it’s always been yes; he would sign the papers here and now with no hesitation. He knows he can’t promise that, though. Not without Eddie.</p>
<p>“It’s not that I don’t want to, buddy. I’m so honored that you asked me, but it’s kinda complicated, you know? Your dad and I…”</p>
<p>“Love each other,” Chris says, like it’s that simple.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Buck agrees, after a brief pause. There’s no point in denying it; loving Eddie is as fundamental to him as breathing.</p>
<p>“And you both love me,” Chris continues.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Buck says, more sure this time.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that all that matters?”</p>
<p>God, Buck loves this kid with every bone in his body. He really fucking does.</p>
<p>“You’re pretty smart, you know that?” Buck says, running a hand through Chris’ curls with a fond smile. “We’ll see, okay? Sweet dreams, little man. I love you so much.”</p>
<p>“Love you too, Bucky.”</p>
<p>Buck leans down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead before he goes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t know what to do.</p>
<p>On the one hand, Buck is so grateful that Christopher opened his heart to him, especially after losing his mother. He’s overjoyed that he <em>trusted</em> him enough to ask, because Buck never had that with any adults when he was young, parents or otherwise, and he loves that he can be that person for Chris.</p>
<p>The problem is, though, he’s terrified of telling Eddie. Because if he tells Eddie, Eddie might say no, and if he says no, Buck’s heart will shatter into a million pieces and probably never recover.</p>
<p>He doesn’t actively avoid Eddie; he couldn’t even if he wanted to. But he does back off a little. He treats him more like the rest of the team and less like the center of his entire universe. He cancels plans to hang out at the Diaz house — something he’s never done, ever — and feels incredibly guilty all the while.</p>
<p>Buck knows it’s stupid and unfair, to Eddie and to Chris, for him to be acting this way. He just can’t help but feel like he needs to postpone the inevitable. If he doesn’t get too close, then they can’t push him away, right?</p>
<p>It’s been over a week of Buck sitting on the biggest secret he’s ever had to keep when, one morning, he and Eddie walk into the locker room and find mistletoe conveniently hanging right between their lockers.</p>
<p>“Chim,” Buck sighs, because he <em>knows</em> this was him.</p>
<p>Sure enough, when he turns around, Chim’s standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face.</p>
<p>“This little lover’s spat between the two of you has been going on long enough, I figured it was time for you to kiss and make up,” he says with a shrug.</p>
<p>Buck rolls his eyes and turns back to Eddie. “We don’t have to, Eds. It’s stupid.”</p>
<p>Eddie shoots an unamused glare in Chim’s direction, but then suddenly he’s taking Buck’s face in his hands with a look of determination and leaning in to kiss him.</p>
<p>It’s not just a peck on the lips to comply with the tradition; Eddie’s kissing him like he means it. In fact, Buck’s kissed a lot of people, but none of them had ever kissed him like this — like he’s something special, something to be cherished. Buck is dizzy with it.</p>
<p>It takes a minute for his brain to come back online when they part, but once it does, he feels braver than before. If Eddie had the courage to kiss Buck stupid like that, then he can handle asking this one little question.</p>
<p>At some point, Hen and Bobby showed up too, and they’re all staring at him and Eddie with dropped jaws and wide eyes, but Buck doesn’t care.</p>
<p>“I need to talk to you,” he tells Eddie, wrapping a hand around his wrist and leading him away from their nosy coworkers.</p>
<p>“Is this about the kiss?” Eddie asks. Buck could swear he sounds nervous, and sure enough, when he looks over at Eddie, he’s honest-to-god blushing.</p>
<p>“No,” Buck says, biting back a smile as he shakes his head. “No, the kiss was great.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Eddie’s grinning from ear to ear now, and fuck, Buck’s so gone for him. “You gonna tell me why you’ve been acting weird, then?”</p>
<p>“Christopher told me what he wanted for Christmas was for me to be his dad,” he answers, ripping off the band-aid before he loses his nerve.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Eddie says, and for the first time in a long time, Buck can’t read him, has no idea what he’s thinking. “What do you think?”</p>
<p>Buck shrugs helplessly. “It’s really not my decision to make, Eddie. He’s your kid.”</p>
<p>“I wanna know how <em>you</em> feel, Buck. Please?”</p>
<p>“Obviously I want it too,” Buck says, without hesitation. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to replace Shannon, or undercut you as a parent — you know I think you’re an amazing dad all on your own, you don’t need anyone to help you. But I love Chris more than anything, Eddie, and I would be so happy and so honored to be able to call him my son. I want him to know I’ll always be there for him and—”</p>
<p>He’s cut off by Eddie grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss. This time there’s tongues, and teeth, and Buck’s entire world narrows to just him and Eddie, the needy noises Eddie’s pulling out of him, the way his skin feels like it’s on fire under Eddie’s touch.</p>
<p>“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Eddie pants as they pull away. He presses their foreheads together while they catch their breath. “Was that okay? Am I allowed to do that now?”</p>
<p>Buck can’t help but laugh, amazed at how effortlessly they’ve fallen into this. “Yeah, you’re allowed.”</p>
<p>Eddie smiles at him, soft and easy, and Buck’s heart stutters in his chest.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Eddie says, giving Buck one more quick peck on the lips. “Anyway, look, Buck…the way I see it, you’ve been a dad to Chris for a long time now, so making it official makes sense to me. If you wanna do it, let’s do it.”</p>
<p>Buck feels like he’s flying. Finally, <em>finally</em>, he has everything he’s ever wanted. “I won’t let him down,” he promises.</p>
<p>“I know you won’t.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Things don’t actually change all that much, which is probably a testament to how ridiculously domestic and codependent they’ve been all along.</p>
<p>They decide not to tell Christopher they’re dating until Christmas, so they don’t spoil the surprise of his present. Which means there’s lots of stolen kisses when Chris isn’t looking, and holding hands under the table at dinner, and pushing each other into bed hurriedly during the occasional limited window between when their shift ends and when they have to pick up Chris from school.</p>
<p>Buck spends just about every free moment at the Diaz house for the entirety of December, and for the first time, he can see why people love this time of year so much. When you have a family to share everything with, the Christmas spirit is intoxicating.</p>
<p>They decorate the tree together, and bake Christmas cookies (he and Chris do it while Eddie’s at work, because they want them to be edible), and watch classic Christmas movies snuggled together on the couch with mugs of hot chocolate, and Buck loves every minute of it all. He can’t believe he got this lucky.</p>
<p>One night, he and Eddie are laying in bed together — Buck had made a big show of going to sleep on the couch in front of Chris and then snuck into Eddie’s room as soon as the coast was clear — and Buck has a hand resting under the hem of Eddie’s shirt, stroking his hip gently. He can hear Chris snoring softly down the hall, and he realizes he’s never felt as content and <em>whole</em> as he does right now.</p>
<p>“Why did you wait so long to ask me about Chris?” Eddie asks him softly, and that bursts the bubble a little. Only marginally, though, because Eddie makes everything easier.</p>
<p>Still, Buck winces. He knows his insecurities aren’t exactly a secret, but he’s never told anyone how deep they run. How fucked up and broken he actually is. He can’t lie to Eddie, though.</p>
<p>“I wanted it so bad, and I was scared you would say no,” he admits, burying his face in Eddie’s shoulder, because he can’t handle looking at him for this. “I still <em>am</em> scared, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Scared of what, sweetheart?”</p>
<p>Buck shrugs, trying so hard to act like this is no big deal, like he’s not laying himself bare in a way he never has before. “How happy I am. This — you and me and Chris — it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s everything I’ve been missing all my life, more than I ever thought I could have, but…I always get left behind, you know? I’m always too much, not worth the effort. And yeah, it hurt when people left me in the past, but you, Eddie? I don’t think I’d survive losing you.”</p>
<p>Careful fingers tilt Buck’s chin up until they’re looking at each other again. Eddie’s frowning as he leans in to brush a kiss above Buck’s eyebrow, right over his birthmark.</p>
<p>“I love you so much, Buck,” he says, and Buck’s breath catches in his throat. “You know that, right?”</p>
<p>He nods, because he does know that. If there’s one thing in this world he knows, it’s that.</p>
<p>“Good. Then trust that I’m going to take care of you, okay? I would never, <em>ever</em> hurt you like that.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Buck breathes, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.</p>
<p>He falls asleep wrapped up tight in Eddie’s arms, warm and safe, and he thinks he might actually believe him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They celebrate on Christmas Eve, since he and Eddie have to work on the actual day, despite Christopher’s valiant protests.</p>
<p>Buck makes them dinner, and they wear dorky matching Christmas pajamas that Chris picked out for them, and Eddie insists on recording everything while they open their presents. It’s hands down the best Christmas Buck’s ever had, no contest.</p>
<p>Once everything else has been opened, Buck hands a manila envelope to Chris, who lets out the cutest little surprised gasp when he opens it and pulls out the adoption papers.</p>
<p>“Really?” he asks, looking up at Buck with so much love and joy in his eyes that it takes Buck’s breath away.</p>
<p>“They’re all signed and ready to go,” Buck says, grinning even though his voice is shaking. “We just have to file them and it’ll be official, but we figured you’d want to come with us to do that.”</p>
<p>In no time flat, Chris launches himself into Buck’s arms, giggling happily, and Buck can say with absolute certainty that this is the best moment of his life.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Buck,” he says, then furrows his brow a little. “Can I still call you Buck?”</p>
<p>Buck and Eddie both laugh at that, and Buck nods as he says “You can call me whatever you want, buddy.”</p>
<p>Eddie joins them then to ruffle Chris’ hair and kiss his head, and Buck doesn’t know if his heart can take much more. It’s so happy and full it feels like it could burst at any moment.</p>
<p>And then Eddie takes a step back and says “I actually have one more thing for you, Buck.”</p>
<p>Buck’s confused, because they’d agreed they would save the adoption news for last. He looks to Eddie with a brow raised, Chris still on his hip.</p>
<p>Eddie smiles at him, and then he’s getting down on one knee and pulling a ring out of his pocket and Buck forgets how to breathe.</p>
<p>“I love you. I’m so happy I can call you my son’s father, and I want to be able to call you my husband, too. Marry me, Buck.”</p>
<p>Eddie winks at Chris, who’s smiling knowingly at Buck, and Buck can’t help it; he starts crying.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Eddie says with wide eyes, shooting an apologetic look Christopher’s way for the cursing before he continues. “I did too much too soon, didn’t I? I was just thinking about what you said the other night, and I wanted to make sure you know that I’m not going anywhere. I know technically we just started dating, but I feel like we’ve been together so much longer than that, you know? And we don’t have to do anything right away, we can be engaged for five years, I don’t care. I just…I just didn’t want you to doubt, ever again, the way I feel about you.”</p>
<p>Buck doesn’t think he’s ever heard Eddie say so many words at one time. The nervous rambling’s a good look for him, he decides.</p>
<p>“It’s not too much, Eddie,” he says, smiling so hard it hurts. “It’s perfect. Of course I’ll marry you.”</p>
<p>Christopher cheers as Eddie slides the ring on to his finger, and then they’re all hugging, and Buck was wrong five minutes ago. <em>This</em> is the best moment of his life.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you knew about this and you didn’t tell me,” Buck says to Chris, poking his side until he laughs. “You’re supposed to be my best friend.”</p>
<p>“I can keep a secret,” he says proudly. “Can I have some ice cream, since we’re celebrating?”</p>
<p>Buck chuckles and looks over to Eddie.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to check with me anymore, babe,” Eddie says with an amused smile. “He’s your kid too.”</p>
<p>Buck melts into a puddle as the words sink in. He kisses Chris on the cheek before setting him down.</p>
<p>“I think we can make that happen, in the spirit of Christmas,” Buck says, grinning. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen, okay? I just need to kiss your dad first.”</p>
<p>“Ew,” Chris says, rolling his eyes. He’s still smiling as he makes his way out of the living room, though.</p>
<p>They’re both laughing as Buck puts his hands on Eddie’s hips and pulls him close.</p>
<p>“I love you,” he says as he leans in to kiss his <em>fiancé</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please feel free to <a href="https://eddiesdiaz.tumblr.com/ask">send me prompts</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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